S.A.D.

Pop another pill because your brain 

Keeps forgetting 

It’s not meant to stab you in the back

Pumping pumping dopamine I can feel drain 

From my face when the sun goes down 

And all the skinwalkers come out 

But there’s something lurking underneath my skin 

And the only way to be free

Is to bury myself in the sunshine of a phone screen

.

I’m sorry the love songs have stopped playing 

Filling up their place with triggers

Each day I can wake up to an alarm 

To face it all again

.

They tell me it’s the wintertime

Not enough sun, vitamin D but 

Nobody’s painted my sunny funeral more than me

And a casket’s weight feels the same in the night 

As it does out in the light

.

*The title is in reference to Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) which is depression caused during the wintertime due to a lack of sunlight.