I’m afraid my bones aren’t mending right

 

Shards 

there are shards 

I feel them tear a new wound

It’s midnight 

They whisper

Time to start hurting 

What started as a clean break infected itself

I suck and spit poison from my blood

Red 

Everything is always red 

It’s itching to be opened 

These breaks aren’t healing stronger 

They’re crooked 

Like teeth 

Like spines 

Everything swells 

Bruising itself in the process 

And it’s purple without oxygen 

Without thought

Suffocate the wound with coldness 

Close it up

Cut it off

Protect it from reopening

Therapeutic x rays tell me this feeling is a

Fracture

The bone can’t be tied back together 

Not when it remembers how to 

Shatter 

How to exist without part of itself 

I’m covered with casts like coping tools 

Like music 

Like silence

Give it time 

Let it heal 

But I keep falling 

I’m still slipping 

I can feel the impending wound 

It’s coming

I can already hear the crack