Introspection on the inevitable

The feeling is back 

I didn’t move fast enough

Here it lies between my hands 

Crumple it up like a flower 

There’s no good reason 

Sometimes I like to watch things fracture 

Splinter and cut and rip and 

I like how destruction is permanent 

I like how I could write about its symbolism 

Once its broken 

Crushing and smothering something placed in my hands and 

You’re nightshade to my mind 

I am a hypocrite I know

I am poisonous too and

I’ve seen my effects and 

I don’t know how to be gentle 

It alludes my mind like my memories 

Break it

Like a bone 

I like how there’s an end 

I like feeling like I have control 

Voices taunt and whisper 

I know where they come from 

They still sound like my own 

Take hold of what hurts 

Press it a little further 

I like knowing what happens 

I like when I go back to a dreamless sleep 

But for right now 

I’ll push snooze on your death