My Lore II

Death is a jealous lover

She owns it like she rules a scythe

Softly, deftly, her fingers cutting over my waist

Moving over to sever

The souls of the hands I keep trying to hold onto

. . .

She likes to kiss my neck 

She likes to whisper words into my ear 

Instructions, advice, orders

I’m obligated to follow 

A dutiful, obsequious servant

. . .

I didn’t see her lurking over me 

When I was a child 

Is that why you died?

Did the alarm go off 

Was I too slow to push snooze

On Death 

. . .

To get down on my bloody knees 

And beg for some more time 

To slow the gun 

Slow the violence that Death drinks shots of 

To soften the burden that comes with souls’ constant attempts 

At bargaining

For second chances, for more currency 

. . .

Did she come in while I was sleeping 

While your soul was in her hands 

Telling me, my love, my darling mortal, 

Time to grow up 

Time for you to learn how to adore me

Cherish me 

Worship me

. . .

I didn’t see her price as a symbol of her endless love 

Is that why you died? 

. . .

Did she see my heart when I gave it to you 

Did she feel the way my weight changed 

The way I felt different hugging her without emotion

The way words couldn’t hurt me anymore 

I’d given the thing I cared the most about 

To someone I thought she couldn’t find 

. . .

But Death is quick and effective 

Immortality has taught her the game I never liked playing

. . .

Is that why she sends your corpse back to me every year? 

A taunt 

Let’s play again 

She knows that she’s holding my love like a puppet 

She’s taken hold of her beautiful body 

That I can no longer see as alive 

I see the truth, it’s rotting in her hands

This is not the girl that I loved 

Still, her tombstone is preserved in my room 

It sits there like I enjoy the pain of letting her go

A memento to another person I couldn’t protect

. . .

A cycle of trying to elude the gods and their bargains and their promises and their lies 

A list of people 

Memoirs and tombs and graves 

We’re growing closer 

Death and I

. . .

I live the life she would have had were she not immortal

One of constant mortality 

Destruction  

Human death

She likes that we’re alike 

She likes that she can tease me, hit me, kiss me, 

And I don’t break

My soul doesn’t leave my body 

I stay planted in this realm like for once she might not win 

. . .

Is that why I could never hold you?

Your voice asking to come closer

Death sat between us

Stroking my cheek

Whispering the same threats in a voice full of love

My voice telling you a lie

Your eyes looking away

Your hands moving away

I leave you to fall towards someone that didn’t lose their soul

She follows my journey like the plague

. . .

I learn to embrace Death 

I let her hold my hands 

I let her hold me 

I love her with a cold body that listens and doesn’t think 

I’m obedient and quiet 

I think she loves the shape of my lips when they’re motionless

I think she likes the way I lie and lay down for hours like I’m hers

. . .

I hide the people I’m trying to keep alive 

I bury them and I leave the grave like they mean nothing 

Just another body 

Don’t look over there my darling murderess

I let her think it’s over, I’ve conceded

I know I can’t win 

I’ve never won a day in my life

. . .

That loss,

Forever losing 

It’s part of my curse